After some AMAZING weeks of God showing-up through you during PraiseShare, we’re back to regular scheduled programming! And hopefully you’re ready to dive back into what I’m calling The Marriage Series. Read the kick-off topic with JJ Heller HERE.
2 Little Words
Everyone knows what the 3 Little Words are in any relationship that can brighten any bad day: I Love You. But are you familiar with 2 Little Words that hold a powerful punch behind them as well? No it’s not, “You Smell” (even though hygiene is NOT a laughing matter). These 2 words can be vital for a marriage to actually get through the hard times, and set yourself up for good times to come. It comes from the idea of selflessness and maturity, which we reach at different times in our lives as individuals, but should be prepared with when making a massive commitment. And fun side-note, it’s the first 2 words that popped out of singer Phil Wickham’s mouth when I asked him, “What advice would you give a newlywed like myself?” After 4 years of marriage, the 2 words Phil automatically came to was, “Be Gracious!”
Be Gracious…it’s a simple thought, a simple phrase, but what does it really mean to make a marriage last?
I sit here reflecting on this, having my sister in the back of my head. See, after a year being with one man that she thought would be her future husband, she let me know today that they called it quits. No wedding plans, no 30 year anniversary, nothing but a house they bought together, my nephew confused a bit, and my sister and her ex heart-broken. And even though I’m hurting for them all, there’s a few things they can take from this all as learning lessons I pray they pay attention to. One is exactly those 2 words Phil Wickham advised: Be Gracious.
In the last few times my husband and I hung out with the 2, things would be going fine for a bit, but then something would be stirred-up. A past hurt would come up, and for some reason would dominate a good chunk of their reactions following it. Now, I know we all are guilty of making this mistake at one point or another, and so the idea of being gracious is HUGE here, especially for us ladies. The phrase, “Holding a Grudge” was pretty much invented by women…and maybe the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s. But just because it’s a women’s nature to hold onto some past pain doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. If you were hurt, address it and then move on!
We make mistakes, we say stuff that should never be said, and we forget conversations that may have meant a whole lot to our significant other! But as mature adults, growing adults, grace is a concept we HAVE to grab hold of, unless we want our marriages to fester with bitterness and hate. Sadly, some learn the hard way, which becomes a learning tool for others. But there is also hope before it seems like it’s too late.
With hope and love in his eyes, Phil Wickham followed his 2 words of advice, talking about his wife Mallory:
“She has been nothing but gracious to me. I am a man that makes mistakes, and her graciousness has been a wonderful gift to me.”
Be Gracious to your loved one! Realize that the grace you’d like about your mistakes should be the same grace given to your husband or wife. Know that, even though this engagement may be full of fun, arguments will come about, and how you handle them speaks volumes into how they’re handled after the “I Do’s.”
When have you had to give a little grace recently to your loved one? Any marriage tips you’d like to share with others? email me at [email protected]