Home » An Open Invitation To Stop Hurt

An Open Invitation To Stop Hurt

Posted on May 16, 2013
By Nikki Martinez

I don’t know her, I’ve never met her, and I don’t even think I’ve ever met the kid accusing her on Facebook. But tonight I witnessed first hand how quickly a favorite media outlet of mine turned into a tool of hurt.

Going through a Facebook newsfeed usually leads to news about pregnancies, engagements, marriages, new jobs, and the 100 photos from the family reunion. But while I was checking out what the ‘book had to show me during my show, a status popped up that I couldn’t let stay. A young man, who is my “friend” because of one mutual friend of ours, was definitely upset at a girl who seemed to have cheated on him. Oh the drama of teens and young adults! But it wasn’t the fact that he was bearing his soul that upset my heart. It was the choice words he used to out-right attack her, names that started with an “H” and a “S,” saying that she “was used anyways.”

Hurt can come from a very deep place, I completely understand it. And being a young adult, not understanding what is happening in your body,  your emotions, and the relationships around you, can throw it all into high-gear for sure. But to call names, horribly-hurtful names to anyone is wrong! I could have ignored it, not knowing this kid….but I just couldn’t. I knew that the girl he was calling-out wasn’t right in what she did, but to wrongs will NEVER make a right! So, gearing up with compassion but an adult mind, I told him what’s up.  He may “de-friend” me, or even worse, call me those same names online because “I’m all up in his biz-niss,” but I don’t care. What I care about (and what we ALL should care about), is putting an end to this perpetuating cycle of name calling and trash-talking that does nothing positive for anyone! No man should be used and abused, and no woman should be called derogatory names that will scar her for life.

Well, just when I thought that was the end of it, all of a sudden classmates or group-mates started attacking the guy back. My eyes could have started bleeding right there I’m telling you! Every curse word under the sun came out, making me want to call each one of their parents.  Calling him this and that, with him attacking back with names! Where does it end? Who will say enough is enough? What parent or adult in these kids lives will smack them on the head and say, “STOP!” ? It just hurt me to see the status unfold, the teens ignore the response I post, the names that should never be called, written, or even thought by anyone…especially not by someone under the age of 18.

I challenge every single one of us to stop this hatred! To stop tossing curse-words and hurtful names around like it’s nothing! To make sure your niece, your nephew, your child, NEVER hears you say something that they’ll carry along with them. This generation isn’t just spreading hate as rapidly as pollen in the air is traveling, but they are facing thoughts that should never, ever, ever cross their mind. Thoughts of suicide, cutting, bulimia, anorexia, and everything else in between. Help is needed, and it starts with us!